Birth Announcements… Print or Internet?

Hello World! Do new families share this on the Internet or in print?

A baby announcement that shows an infant and the text "hello world"
Birth Announcements: Print or Internet?
photo credit: mumsgrapevine.com.au (2018)

Dear Ms. Smartphone: Am I out-of-date when it comes to birth announcements? I had a baby earlier this year, so I sent my friends and work-associates a small photo card with newborn vitals (weight, height, delivery date). My BFF is having a baby soon and says sending out these print cards is old-fashioned. She plans to post the baby picture by text and on the Internet (social media). She thinks it’s more personalized to reach out this way. Scarlet, San Francisco

Dear Scarlet:  First, congratulations to you and your friend. No matter how you announce this to the world, at the end of the day, parents rule and you must personally navigate these changing times of disclosure and sharing.

But, I rather agree with you, and would prefer that baby announcements be sent by mail, not by text or social media. And, I don’t think it’s out-of-date. When I searched on the web, there was a divide between those who still followed this practice, and those who found it arcane. 

Pinned

It’s fun to pin these print announcements to the refrigerator door and oogle at the newborn- they are a visual reminder of how precious life is. That is a moment lost by social media. There, pictures flash by and get our attention for five or six seconds. Occasionally, we upload them to a cloud shared with a jumble of unconnected photos. Not everyone will save your printed cards, but recall that they also have useful information:  babies weight, height, spelling of name, and, of course, a return address should they send a gift. 

You probably don’t care if people send a gift, but the natural response of many people is to do this – even if you post on social media. In that case, the gift givers will need your address, and- surprise of surprise- we are back in the business of sending and receiving things in the mail.

Organic losS

My major issue with posting on social media (e.g. Facebook, Instagram) is that we cannot be sure that your announcements will actually be seen. On Facebook, the average reach of an organic post hovers around 5.20%.  That means roughly one in every 19 fans sees the page’s non-promoted content. Some of your friends may not hear about the baby if the algorithm finds other priorities that day.

Speaking of which, we give a lot of power to the algorithm when we use social media.  Businesses, both large and small, are likely to scrape the public feed to identify new parents so they can tailor ads  for them- e.g., rural/urban; baby boy/ baby girl, one parent/two parent home; etc. I don’t know if this issue is real yet, but posting pictures also opens up the door to train algorithms on facial recognition from birth onwards!  

Precious Moments

That’s a long run concern. For the short term, your friends are going to be wrapped up in their social media, checking to see who liked the post and going back to the platform to comment. That is going to take time away from baby.

This is the same issue if your friends choose text instead to post about the new arrival. Friends will want to say congratulations and get a  home address. But, a phone that pings and rings is an annoyance. It diverts our focus and attention, as well as that rare sleep. The first couple of weeks are precious, and deserve ‘time off’ from notifications and badges. 

In closing, I do recognize that the way we celebrate things publicly does change over time. Newspapers used to print birth announcements, and they got their data from the public registry.  I personally enjoyed reading them to learn what baby names were in vogue! No matter what medium your friend chooses, I am sure that her closest friends and families will find out and that is what counts.

Digital Content and Newspapers

A cartoon from newspapers.org suggesting that newspapers are key during a pandemic, along with soap and sanitizer.
Digital Content and Newspaper Subscriptions. Source: newspapers.org

Dear Ms. Smartphone: I see your point about civics and reading a newspaper or magazine with kids at home (I have one in college and three at home).  But, it’s really impossible to get it delivered where we live. The paper ends up not coming most days, and when it does, it lands in a boggy part of our lawn. Sometimes it just disappears. So, what’s wrong with digital content and newspapers?  Ollie, Oakland

Dear Ollie, Here’s the irony. Publishers believe that people are turning to digital content for newspapers because they prefer it.  Actually, the exodus from tree pulp from starts with the little things like a dialogue with the overseas call center or a wonky web site. It’s hard to reach a human and stop or start a delivery. Often, as you note, the paper doesn’t come at all. 

Shared experience

The major reason I advocate that you and your children still read a physical newspaper is that it can be a shared experience. If you read the news on a phone or a tablet your children don’t know whether you are looking at a story, browsing for a new car, scrolling Facebook, or playing a video game. And, reciprocally, as a parent, you don’t know what they are doing either. With that in mind, you might if the budget allows, reserve a laptop for their schoolwork and a separate device, say an Xbox, for social and games. That way you can keep better tabs.

You also want to read the physical newspaper because context matters as well as content. Say you are reading topical news stories about the subway collapse in Mexico City. Your children might be afraid to ride BART and take public transportation after they see the pictures. You have the opportunity to provide background, and impart them with knowledge that this is a very rare event.

Reading light and deep

But, another reason for reading the newspaper, think academic again, is that it inculcates better reading skills. With a digital paper, readers are more likely to skim and not go in depth- despite the opportunity to use outside links and sources. I have previously written about the differences between reading in print versus reading digitally. But, if your kids are doing research, the digital paper might be valuable, particularly for highly visual articles and timelines. 

On the Internet- when Facebook or Twitter delivers the news, we experience a “filter bubble,” so named by A. Parnisi back in 2010. Based on your expressed interests and past viewings, an algorithm predicts stories that will engage you. It winnows the news stories into into a handful of items that you will click on. That click, in turn, initiates ads, targeted just for you. When you read a print paper, the “filter bubble” is bigger- an editorial staff picks and prints say 30 stories a day and there’s no linking between ads, clicks, and customers.  And, there is the serendipity of discovering something you and your family would not normally see or read. 

Breaking the Breaking Cycle

That said, Facebook and Twitter are the hands-down winner when it comes to hearing late-breaking, real-time news stories. The print newspaper cannot compete. However, and it’s a serious question, are we the wiser for this, or is it another type of distraction? Almost all breaking news stories are of a distant environments that we cannot act upon or control. Should there be  a news event of local significance, say an out-of-control fire or a traffic jam-up, you are likely to get notifications on your phone.  Watching a distant breaking new story, in this case, news of the Boston Marathon bombing, was associated with impacts on mental well being.

So, summing up, what do you do when the newspaper doesn’t quite make it to your doorstep. Perhaps you can subscribe to media that comes in the post, like a weekly magazine. Or you can make a fun trip on foot or in the car to get a latte and a newspaper. Both cost about the same, and you can share the latter.  Most public libraries have both print and digital editions of papers, but that is not going to help you with the family time.

Too Much Screentime?

Too much screentime? A montage of cartoon like kids on screens. From commonsensemedia.
Too much Screentime? Image: Commonsensemedia.org

Dear Ms. Smartphone: My daughter, age seven, watches way too much screentime since the pandemic and I want to undo this. What’s the best way to get us back to normal? Going cold turkey seems impossible? Marney, New York

Dear Marney,  It’s a timely question- there is a new phrase called “collaboration equity” to describe how offices, and perhaps schools, will emerge from the pandemic. Those who are remote must be able to participate on equal footing with those physically present. Hopefully this is not an issue for younger people, and New York schools will reopen this Fall. However, there’s a long and daunting summer ahead, and too much screentime?

In a recent column I overviewed some vital steps that parents can take but I will add to them here. There is not a single work-around, a magic wand, that will transport families back to simpler days before the pandemic.  But, I do have three fixes. 

A Lean Screen

First, if you want your daughter to reduce her screentime then it’s up to parents to be the screen mentor. This is going to be a challenge if you are still working from home full or part time. But, if your child sees you ‘working’ on a laptop or phone, they can’t differentiate whether you are in a meeting, ordering groceries, or chatting with girlfriends. Screentime is screentime and children will mimic habits of their elders. So, if you want your child to cut back on screentime, you will have to do so together.

Nix the MIX

Another way to reduce screen time is to nix using the smartphone phone as a multi-task accessory. Phones can be  substitutes for flashlights, microscopes (with attachments), cameras, alarm clocks, timers, address books, calendars, and of course, games. Instead of using these, introduce the seven year old to some replays! Replace games with a deck of cards and a cardboard puzzle,  build an A-Z index card file instead of using the online address book, and use a plug in clock instead of the digital wake-up. Photos and photo storage may be the hardest function to give up, but since you are trying this out for a few months,  get an old fashioned Polaroid type camera and see what develops!

A New Norm..Away

Finally, one of the best ways to do a reset is to change the environment and hence, the daily habits that go along with it. In some deeper, older behavioral studies, psychologists found that they could affect the behavior of young mothers (I believe it was towards diaper use), if they changed the Mom’s physical environment. In a new setting, the Moms were more open to doing things differently and trying out a different norm.

Changing up the environment has a lot of merit this coming summer for kids and  families, coming out of the  lock down. Getting outdoors and going to the park is one thing, but taking a six week visit  to summer camp or to the grandparents is an order of magnitude better. Getting away would be a great way to undo those sticky screen habits. That said, you need to find a summer camp that has strict controls on screen time, and does the equivalent of putting phones in Yondr bags when the kids check in. Likewise, time with Grandma is not going to change screen habits if she is glued to watching TV shows for several hours a day, or, if a more contemporary grandma, she swaps out TV viewing time for the Internet. You need grandparents that read books aloud, take your daughter to the library, and even encourage her to compose stories on her own (perhaps describing those Polaroid pictures!)

You are not alone trying to figure out how kids will adjust to these post-pandemic times. Cut yourself some slack as you try out new activities and behaviors. There are really two layers of change going on- change that comes from staying indoors and out of school during the pandemic, and change that occurs because a six or seven year old is growing up, getting social, and leaving behind early childhood.