Zoom App on Phone Good?

Zoom Zoom is for Motorways….not for cars.

on a mobile phone, a picture of four people meeting asif  the zoom app is is use.
mobile zoom on phone

Dear Ms. Smartphone: This week I installed the Zoom app on my phone, but my wife went ballistic. She says that I should do Zoom meetings from my home office. We carefully set up the home office together this past March and I signed up for a faster Internet speed then. It is a nice place to work from with a good view, but I am tired of taking all of my meetings indoors. So, why should she care if I use the app on the phone instead?   Kirby, San Francisco

Dear Kirby,

First, approach this with emotional intelligence: perhaps your wife has issues because the two of you went to some trouble to set up the office- picking out suitable furniture, getting new lighting or cameras, and locking into a fast plan with your ISP.  Maybe she feels that you are showing less appreciation towards the digital “nest” you built together. Or, she views this change as a signal that you  work from home is ending. These are emotional issues to talk through. If they don’t fit, then move from emotional intelligence to digital intelligence. 

Here is the safety issue, the so-called digital intelligence. Should you interact with the Zoom app in your vehicle, as you drive, it puts you at risk of a collision, and may cause injury to yourself or others.

DistraCtion Highway 101

There are three sources of smartphone distraction in the car: visual distraction- tick one off for Zoom as you search the faces of four other people; manual distraction- tick of another one as you share your screen; and, the third, most important one – mental distraction. Many people think that they can multi-task when they drive, but honestly, driving demands our full-time faculty. Would you trust your surgeon if she browses on the phone while examining you? Would you trust the driver in the next lane who is having an angry phone call with his teen?

Even if you are a passenger, you probably don’t want to hold a Zoom meeting in the car, What happens here is that the phone call requires extra mental concentration, when we only hear one side of it. So, the driver is likely to be unwittingly engaged. 

Out of the Woods

If you are thinking of using Zoom when you walk the dog or go outside- be cognizant of the surroundings. If there are many streets to cross or busy on-coming traffic, it’s not a good idea. If it’s a walk in the woods, it’s probably OK but ask yourself if this is how you want to spend your time out of doors? Is it mindful? 

Should you need to be in this meeting in the first place if you cannot give it your full attention?  And think of the other party to your Zoom call. What are your digital manners and are you demeaning their time and input when your first priority is to walk the dog while conversing?

We all have times when we cannot be at a fixed location to take a call, so I get the usefulness of the Zoom mobile app. Note that Zoom gives you the option to make a dial-in call, without installing the app. So you can listen in and participate , but you won’t see the participants. 

When we have great technology and good connectivity, it’s not necessary to be a Luddite and resist virtual meetings. However, if you do choose to put this particular app on your smartphone, be mindful of where and when you choose to you it. Most of all, make sure you do not multi-task in the car, unless you are sitting there with the engine turned off. Zoom Zoom is for motorways, not for meetings. 

Family Setup Good Idea?

@dearsmartphone
(this is not a picture of the actual watch)

Dear Ms. Smartphone: I’d like to give my eight year old more independence since he stays indoors all day for home-schooling. But, I also think he is too young to get his own phone. If he goes on his bike or walks to the nearby store I want to know he gets there safely and does not get into trouble. There are not many kids his age in our neighborhood  to hang out with so I worry when he is out and about.  Kelly, Tiburon

Dear Kelly: It’s funny how we now conflate independence with phones.  There are probably less dangers out there than you imagine, but it comes back to your son and his level of maturity.  Back in 2011, a Mom/journalist in NYC started a movement called “free range kids.” The idea is that kids are allowed to play outside or go alone on short trips alone so they learn to be creative and self-sufficient and solve problems if they arise. The founders stress that this is not the same  as “Permissive Parenting.”

Optimized for Kids and…

Depending how you feel about phones and the cost of adding a new phone line, there is a tech solution. Apple just introduced a gadget  called “Family Setup.” It’s is a phone- watch Apple says that is optimized for younger children and seniors!  If you want to know your son’s whereabouts, or grandma’s, that will display on your iphone map. You can  also call or text them from your phone. That sounds like it would do the job.

 Apple’s Family Setup is not the first device to provide a geofence and parental controls (see link for Android) but it will give you more features. The promo material says you can send cash via Apple Pay, so imagine sending your son to the store to pick up a few things on your shopping list! Maybe, have him bring back a newspaper or magazine- something to read together! Or use the feature to set a weekly allowance, and track how it is allocated.

Exercising Choices!

Since children are spending so much time indoors these days, you might test out the feature called the “activity center” (and let me know if it works). It’s like a Fitbit that tracks exercise routines. It then digitally lauds the effort with emoji coaching and milestones.  Since your son is at home and missing recess he might enjoy this.  On the other hand, will he exercise for the intrinsic satisfaction of keeping fit or as a token to share with friends? If the latter, it may unwittingly progress into oversharing on social media at a very young age.

There are pros and cons to Family Setup.  Until we all got smartphones, reaching the teen years meant becoming increasingly self reliant and self-contained, the concept of the ‘free range-kids.’  I honestly don’t know if our connected devices will help parents or  undermine the core values they need to teach. And, will kids who get these watches soon pine for full phones instead?  Finally, our relationships are so fragile these days, so what will happen  if the “family” splits- is it just Mom or just Dad or Grandpa that becomes the watch-keeper? 

Kids Use Ipad in Car?

Long car trip, many miles to go
with 1 dog and 2 kids..should we bring out the Ipads?

Are we there yet? Displayed in text as a green road sign. There are puffy white clouds in the background.
It’s a sign of a long trip. Are we there yet?

Dear Ms. Smartphone: We have a long cross-country trip ahead of us. We have two kids and one dog.  Our dog can’t get on the airplane, so we decided to take him with us. I think it is OK to let the children have their own Ipad in the car to watch a kid’s show or play games. My wife says I am taking the easy way out and we should not allow them to have the Ipads. What would you do?  The children, by the way, are ages eight and four.  Max, Boston.

Dear Max: You asked me what I would do- seriously, I would fly, but then there’s the dog, and keeping the family Covid safe. It’s good that you and your spouse are having this discussion about digital media before you set out. 

It is hard to peer out of the back-seat window for days on end. But, it’s also hard to drive with noisy, restless kids. Perhaps download a number of family-oriented books-on-tapes before you go. That way, as you drive, you can share the content together. If you give them Ipads, it is one-on-one media. You lose the ability to talk together and bring an adult view to the kid content. 

Let’s Get Bored!

But, importantly, do not underestimate the power of kids getting bored. Each person has to solve it individually and learn that feeling bored is normal. It can also become the gateway to creative thinking and focus. There is so much media to entertain young children today (and keep them quiet) that we overlook the value of downtime. A noted clinical psychiatrist says that boredom, not mental health, is the real issue bubbling up from the pandemic. So, in these times, we need to teach children that it’s OK to be bored. The psychiatrist notes that teens seems to need more novelty and sensation seeking, and their understimulated state opens the door to recreational drugs. So, a few days in the car without the Ipad may set younger kids on a better path. 

IRL Geography

Finally, there’s real educational value in experiencing the vast expanse of this country first-hand. It’s the IRL geography class. You’ll find lots of sites online for making it useful, like this one.  I would personally stop at each state’s Welcome Center so that Fido gets to stretch his legs, and the kids get a souvenir, and pick out free brochures and maps to then study in the car. Maybe your eight year old will want to keep a diary of the trip- either digitally or on paper. The point is to experience it first, record it later, and share it together. Have a good time and drive safe.